Deborah K. Shepherd had to wait some thirty years to finish her first novel, So Happy Together, but boy was it worth it. We had a great time catching up with her here at Occhi to talk about post-retirement writing, food, cooking, writing about food and cooking, why some readers thought her novel might be a bodice ripper, and so much more.
You refer to yourself as an accidental writer. Why?
Although I’ve always been a reader, and I’ve always written, it never occurred to me that I could be an “author.” I’m coming to this profession pretty late in life. I had an early career as a reporter for two publications (a trade paper for actors in New York City and a weekly newspaper in Columbia County, New York). In the late 1980s, my first marriage was unraveling, my kids were teenagers, and rather than flee the scene, I wrote a novel about a woman who did just that. I submitted it to one publisher, it was rejected, and I put it in a box in my closet.
After my divorce, I went back to school for a graduate degree and became a social worker. My job as executive director of two non-profits entailed a lot of detailed writing, mostly grant applications and reports, and when I retired, I swore I’d never write anything longer than a grocery list. But then I had an idea for a novel and my (second) husband reminded me of the manuscript in the back of my closet. On reading it thirty years after it had been written, I realized it wasn’t all that bad, and after a few more drafts, work with an editor, and acceptance by She Writes Press, that novel, So Happy Together, is now out in the world. But if I hadn’t saved it, if my husband hadn’t reminded me…
On the other hand, if that first publisher had accepted it, I might have had a much longer writing career…..
Has your previous career in social work had an impact on your writing?
Yes, I think working in two organizations that focused on interpersonal violence (the first as a director of a statewide organization of rape crisis centers and the second as director of a domestic violence resource center) has made me more reflective, both about myself and the world around us and about choices people make. I think the kind of work I did is reflected in the openness that my main characters in So Happy Together—Caro and Peter—have about relating their life experiences. In one chapter, Peter is triggered and reveals to Caro that he had been sexually assaulted as a child. I struggled with the scene after I wrote it, rewrote it from Caro’s point of view of how she absorbed what he had told her, but then went back to Peter’s voice. I think my work with survivors of sexual and domestic violence made it very clear to me that if survivors wanted to reveal their stories, they needed to speak their truth in their own way. Some readers may find the revelation shocking, but the relief my character felt in the telling spoke to the need to write it the way I did.
You are writing a memoir now but decided to write a novel as your first post-retirement work. Why did you begin with fiction?
When my first marriage was coming apart and my children were still young, I didn’t feel I had the distance or the perspective to write about my life. I was married to a much older man, and the age gap had finally caught up with us. So, when all I could think about was getting away—and I knew I couldn’t—I wrote a novel about a woman who not only fantasized about leaving her marriage to find an old love and resurrect her creative, artistic self but acted on that fantasy, as well. Now, fifty years after meeting the man who became my first husband, I feel ready to write about that relationship in my memoir.
What is So Happy Together about?
Somehow, that’s always the hardest question, I think. I thought long and hard when I had to write the blurb for the back of the book, and I still come back to it when asked this question:
So Happy Together explores the conundrum of love and physical attraction, creativity and family responsibilities, and what happens when they are out of sync. It’s a story of missed opportunities, the alluring possibility of second chances, and what we leave behind, carry forward, and settle for when we choose. It sits in that complicated, confounding, beautiful place where love resides.
Would So Happy Together make a good movie and if so, why? And feel free to fantasy cast if you so desire.
I think it would make a super movie because it’s quite cinematic. There’s the road trip Caro takes from suburban Connecticut to find her old love, Peter, who lives in North Dakota; there’s the trip over memories, back to the ‘60s, when Caro and Peter were college students in Tucson. So, a lot of great scenery and atmosphere…and bell bottoms and bongs and great music!
And since this is fantasy casting, I get to cast actors from different eras and make them the same age, right? For Caro, either Jennifer Grey (pre-and post-rhinoplasty, because Caro’s husband, Jack, urges Caro to take some of their wedding-gift money to get a nose job) or Debra Winger; for Peter, Neil Patrick Harris; and for Jack, Peter Fonda (this last one is a given, as Carol describes Jack as looking like him). And, they’d all have to be young, of course, and age from 20s to 40-ish.
Tell us how some readers got the idea that So Happy Together might be a bodice ripper.
Oh, yeah, thank you, Amazon. The blurb on the back of my book starts out:
“Set in the sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll ‘60s, when drama students Caro Mills and Peter MacKinley were kooky, colorful and inseparable…” And there’s some kind of algorithm that Amazon has that picks up words and puts your book into categories, so my book got pegged as Historical [the ‘60s] Erotica [sex, drugs, rock ‘n roll]. Readers who buy my book expecting something akin to Submitting to the Marquis, Disciplining the Dutchess, or Her Husband’s Harlot—yes, these are all real titles from Listopia’s rundown of “Steamy Historical Erotica”—will be sorely disappointed, I’m afraid.
In addition to blogging about writing and books, you also blog about food. How did that come about and what kinds of food do you blog about? And will your memoir be food-oriented?
When I was a baby, I was diagnosed with celiac, but after a couple of years, I got better and had no digestive problems for many years. But the symptoms returned in late middle-age, and I consulted with a nutritionist who put me on a highly restrictive diet that eliminated mostly everything good to eat—No pasta! No bread! No cheese! No corn! You get the picture.
So, I did a little research and discovered Paleo, which allowed me to eat so many of my favorite foods, albeit made with “safer” ingredients. I love to cook and have so many recipes—family and otherwise—that I thought I couldn’t use anymore. But then I started experimenting and found I could substitute Paleo-friendly ingredients in most of my favorite dishes and then I started writing about it, which turned into my first blog. I called it paleogram.com because by then I was not only an enthusiastic convert to paleo eating but a grandmother, as well.
I’ve stopped writing that blog, although it’s still accessible and one of my aunts is still its biggest fan:
“When are you going to write more recipes?”
“Well, I have other projects going on now. I have a new blog, and my book has just been published.”
“Yes, that’s nice, but when are you going to write more recipes?”
The work-in-progress memoir is not food-oriented, per se, but food does play a part in the story, and some of it concerns teaching myself to cook by diving deep into The Joy of Cooking. There is one memorable story about my first attempt to cook pork. Since pork had been verboten in my house when I was growing up—except bacon, which somehow got a pass—the only thing I knew was that it couldn’t be pink, or it would make you deathly ill. My lover had expressed a yen for fresh ham, but when it had cooked for its allotted time and was still pink…
Back to the oven for another 15 minutes, then out: Still pink. Back into the oven, then check: Still pink. In oven, out of oven: Still pink. Repeat for another hour.
“Is something burning?”
Bill walked into the house to find a charred-to-the-crisp on the outside but still pink inside, inedible goddamned fresh ham, and me in tears.
He took me in his arms, and I’m sure the only reason he didn’t laugh out loud was that I was so utterly miserable, and we were still at the point in our relationship where he thought whatever I did was precious.
“Sweetheart, this is a smoked ham. It’s supposed to be pink.”
Your blogs are so much fun to read. One senses a kind of exuberance in them, not always regarding the subject matter (since some are sad) but having to do with your style, your presentation. Can you talk about what writing means to you now that you are retired and can write one book after another if you so choose?
LOL! I wish I could write one book after another. The truth is—and I know it’s a cliché—I’m as busy now as I was when I was working (minus the commute, thank God). I volunteer and serve on the board of an organization that serves to reduce the social isolation of seniors in our community; I’m involved in an ongoing memoir-writing workshop; I’m a doting grandmother, and our two grandsons spend part of every summer with us. I’m also an avid gardener and am currently trying to outwit the critters who’ve reduced my broccoli, kale, and cauliflower to mere stalks. And—no one ever told me—marketing my newly-published book has become an all-consuming effort.
As far as what writing means to me, I only know that I can’t not write. I try to at least write something every day, even if it’s not meant for publication. It feels like a gift—something I didn’t know I needed but now couldn’t do without.
Are you already thinking about what will follow the memoir?
I think following the memoir, I’ll concentrate on personal essays. I’ve been writing them for the past few years and have had a number of them published (links can be found on my website, https://deborahshepherdwrites.com). It took 30 years for the novel to come out, and I’ve been working on the memoir for the past two years. I’ve set a January 1, 2022 deadline to finish the final draft and start submitting, by which time I’ll be nearly 75, and, if it gets picked up by a publisher, it might be another two years before it comes out, so another book may not be realistic. On the other hand, I have an idea for a historical (not erotic) novel set in mid-19th century Paris….
If you could magically change things around so that your writing career started when you were younger, would you do so?
That’s a little tempting, but also a little scary. So much of my writing is informed by the life I’ve lived, the people I love, the career I chose. It feels a little like those fantasy plots, maybe Jack Finney’s Time and Again, where he goes back in time and prevents two characters from meeting, thus changing the trajectory of history, or that episode on Star Trek, where saving one character’s life could result in the Allies losing World War II. So, if my writing career had started when I was younger and I missed out on the people, places, and experiences I’ve treasured, and the knowledge I’ve gained, the answer would have to be “No.”
I just feel so much gratitude that, at the age of 74, I get to be a first-timer on this wild and crazy ride.
Please tell Occhi readers where they can learn more about you.
Readers can find more of my writing on my website, https://deborahshepherdwrites.com, and can follow me on my Facebook page, Deborah K. Shepherd, Author. So Happy Together can be found through your local indie bookstore, or wherever you buy books, including online at https://amzn.to/3eCjbfF or https://barnesandnoble.com/w/so-happy-together-deborah-k-shepherd/1137387451
Thank you so much, Joan. I so appreciate your thoughtful—and fun—questions and the opportunity to connect with your readers.
Author photo by Henry Wyatt.
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