Sandy Daley is well-known for her passion and commitment to the honesty of her work. She has received several prestigious awards, including the Governor General’s Award for Excellence, Rising Star Award from Centennial College, and was named Toronto Fringe Festival Artist of the Year in 2020. Daley understands the responsibility that comes with her craft. Her critically acclaimed first novel, “Whose Vagina Is It, Really?” made it to the bestsellers list, and now she has released a second edition. We had the opportunity to catch up with her to discuss this.
Sandy, it’s great to catch up with you. What inspired you to write Part 2 of “Whose Vagina Is It, Really?” at this particular moment in time?
I was inspired to write this new book as I always knew that I was going to have a follow-up to the very first book. I wrote the very first book when I was single and now the second edition follows my life as a married woman. This book is very important now as relationships are suffering and men and women are not connecting anymore, I believe.
How has your perspective on women’s empowerment evolved between writing the first and second books?
Women’s empowerment has certainly evolved over the last few years. When I wrote the first book in 2012, I noticed a hesitancy amongst women in detailing what they required to make themselves happy and fulfilled. However, nowadays, it seems as if women are bolder and more vocal about their innermost desires. I believe that social media and the internet on a whole has facilitated a change in women’s perspectives.
Can you share a particularly challenging moment during the writing process that ultimately led to a powerful revelation?
As a self-published author, it’s very challenging at times to get your work published. During this process, my editor decided to go back to school to pursue higher learning. I was happy for her of course, but that left me in a bind. So I had to scramble quickly and find a replacement in order to stay with the deadline. I had to pivot very quickly, with no hesitation. Through this challenge, I learnt that everything will not go your way sometimes, but you cannot allow challenges to stop you. You must be a warrior, no matter what challenges come your way.
Your book tackles serious issues while maintaining a humorous tone. How do you strike that delicate balance?
I believe that my personality allows me to do this. I’ve always been a very serious individual but what I try to do is highlight my thoughts and opinions in a very humorous way. I believe that people should be able to get your point, without hitting them over the head with knowledge. Humour is always a great ice-breaker.
What’s the most controversial opinion you express in the book, and why did you feel it was important to include?
I believe that when I encourage women to see themselves as only worthy of the best, materially and emotionally’, I triggered a lot of people. I encourage women to only want the best for themselves and that if a man is not willing to spend money on you, then that’s not somewhere to lodge your head. It was important to include as I believe that many women are allowing any type of treatment to be given to them. Your self-worth must be top-notch, then you’ll see a major shift in the treatment that you’re given.
How has the repeal of Roe vs. Wade influenced the narrative and message of your book
The repeal of Roe vs. Wade definitely affected the narrative of my book. This is what I am fighting for: the right for each woman to have autonomy over their own bodies. I had this in mind as I wrote this book. I wanted women and men to examine themselves right now and to see if they could make a difference after the repeal.
While the book seems primarily directed at women, you mention it’s for everyone. What specific insights can male readers gain from your work?
This book and all my books are for men and women. In this book, I encourage men to support women and to examine the role of a woman, even if they’re not one. From this book, men can learn how women think and in doing so, this can be a catalyst for change in relationships.
What’s the one message you hope readers take away from this book?
The one message to learn from this book is that women should learn how to put themselves first, as it all starts from self-love, self-respect and self-appreciation.
How do you envision this book being used as a teaching tool?
I envision this book being used as a teaching tool as it’ll encourage women and men to treat each other with love and respect. These are the foundation of a solid relationship.
How has writing about such personal experiences affected your own journey of self-discovery?
It has enhanced my understanding of myself. It has allowed me to understand and value the struggles, as well as the achievements. Nothing beats living and then seeing your life in a book format. Humility then sets in, along with gratitude.
What feedback from readers of your first book surprised you the most?
I was surprised that people were so taken aback by my straightforwardness, and to the point writing. Most readers were in agreement but they were surprised that I said what they thought about.
In what ways has being both single and married influenced your perspective on women’s empowerment?
I believe that being single allows you to see women empowerment one way and being married allows you to see it in a different way. I still see the need for women empowerment, whether being married or single. It comes in different formats.
How do you see your work contributing to the larger conversation about women’s rights and bodily autonomy?
I believe that I was one of the founding fathers of women’s empowerment, as I’ve been saying these things for years. Nowadays, everyone has an opinion on the internet. I believe that my contribution will encourage women to continue to fight for their rights’, no matter what it takes. I will continue to do so over the next few years, no matter how difficult the fight may be.
Are there plans for a Part 3, and if so, what themes would you like to explore?
This is a 3-part series book so I will write as I live my life. I’d like to continue exploring the issues of being married and continuously fighting for autonomy over your own body. Can that be achieved? We shall see what unfolds in the next book.
What advice would you give to women struggling to find their voice in today’s world?
My advice would be to hone in on what’s important to you. When you do this, you will find your niche and in doing so find your own voice. This will allow you to be comfortable in your own skin, whilst fighting to remain in control of your own body and mind. This will give you the power and control of your own life and the narrative of your life.
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