March 28, 2024

Hi, Captain O’toole! We’re excited to learn more about The Internet Police. Tell us what inspired the creation.

The year was 1999. At the time, I was working as a security guard at a library on Sasafras street. I started to notice that all the kids had stopped coming in to read books and instead were sitting at a new metal doodad playing some game they called Number Munchers.

So I called up my stockbroker and I said, look here Sal, I want to put all my money into this metal robot box the kids are obsessed with. That afternoon I transferred my entire 401k right into what had to be a sure thing, Pets.com and Etoys and I convinced Sal it was his ticket to the good life too.

Long story short, when the market crashed in 2001, Sal jumped out of a thirty-two story building window. Where was I going with this? Oh, I joined the Internet Police because one time this guy on the Ebay shipped me a cardboard box instead of an Xbox and I swore I would never rest until scammers, hacksters, and cyber criminals were all behind Internet jail bars. It’s a living.

The Internet Police is an adult comedy, webstrip series about people who help prevent crime on the Internet. Or, did we miss the mark on this explanation?

I, Captain Otoole, like to say that the Internet Police are the internet’s only hope at survival. I mean, we have been Internet Policing and documenting our work in a web strip since 2017 and the Internet is still here, isn’t it? I rest my case.

I would love to take credit for starting the Internet Police, but that honor goes to the inventor of the Internet itself, Mr. Al Gore.

One day I was drinking my coffee, reading the New York Times, and I saw an ad, clear as day, that read “Looking for a Captain of the Internet Police. Must have own phone line,” and the rest is history. Little did I know that my phone line was to connect me to the World Wide Web of deceit, trickery, and underground Pokemon trading.

Was there a particular event or time in your life, when you decided this webstrip should be made?

Well, when I got the job with Al Gore the first thing he said was if you want to be Captain here, you need to document everything you do in a three-panel comic for tax purposes. I didn’t ask questions, but I probably should have.

What should be the biggest takeaway from the webstrip?

There are hundreds of safety tips you need to memorize if you want to safely surf the Internet waves. Personally, I recommend you visit our website every Monday, Wednesday, Friday when we put up a new comic strip and then copy every safety tip you learn down by hand into a notebook. Review this notebook whenever you decide to surf the Internet.

It is said that it all starts with the script, then an amazing cast. What are your thoughts on this?

I am a big fan of Michael Bay films and from what I can tell, a film starts with a casting call for attractive human beings who are comfortable around large explosions. I’m not sure a script is involved.

What has been the most important lesson you had to learn from creating The Internet Police?

How to connect to the wifi and send a stupid email because my email wasn’t working for a while.

Who creates the art for the webstrip?  

We have a bunch of Nest webcams in our office and I just comb through hours of footage every day picking stills that show my good side.

Thus far, what has been the best experience in creating the webstrip?

My best experience as Captain of the Internet Police was getting to watch Justin Timberlake at the Superbowl. All in a good day’s work!

Do you have any upcoming projects that we haven’t mentioned?

This year our goal was to get a web site, my email working, and set up the Twitters. Who knows what next year will hold? Besides a stock market collapse, I mean.

Complete this sentence, if I had an opportunity to do anything I want, I would ___________.

If I had an opportunity to do anything I want, I would tell Sal the stockbroker to forget about Pets.com because money isn’t everything. Now it’s all about cryptocurrency!

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